Brandon...........

Brandon Dennis Collmar 4/26/1976 - 9/9/2007

I read a book some years back called "All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten." Well, I would like to share my own mini book called "What I've Learned Since Becoming a Mother."

I really thought I knew how this child rearing job would be. After all, I was 24 when I had Brandon and pretty savvy. I had no idea what an education I was about to receive.

I'd like to share just a few of the lessons I've learned in the past 31 years. I had no idea that from the first moment I heard the heartbeat in the doctor's office, I would fall in love.

I love kissing the wrinkles on the back of a baby's neck.

I learned that all babies come prewired, no two alike and with no instructions attached.

I've learned that regardless of how naughty my kids were during the day, a little halo appeared while they were sleeping - giving them another chance to live with me for another day!

I learned that I just loved getting those Christmas gifts made from too much glue and too little eye-hand coordination.

I even learned once while killing time in an airport, that if you let your kids play on the payphone - pretending to call people by just dialing numbers with no money involved, the medics actually can appear.

I love smiles with missing teeth.

I had no idea it would be a challenge keeping sitters for my two boys. What one didn't think of, the other one did.

I loved being Santa, the tooth fairy and Easter Bunny.

I learned that when one of my kids hurt, I hurt even more.

I discovered Brandon was never more proud than when he graduated from Basic Training in the Air Force. And he loved answering my military questions by saying "I can neither confirm nor deny that statement."

I have finally figured out that the rule is: "There are no rules." What works for one, doesn't always work for another.

I learned that it does take a village to raise a child. And today, that village has come forward to show their love and respect for a fellow fallen member. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of Brandon's life - and our family's life.

And now for the most important lesson I've learned: Unconditional love. Regardless of what Brandon did or didn't do, I loved that boy. And believe I will go on easier without him knowing that he is with the Master. The Master of unconditional love. The One who knows even every hair on his head. The One who blessed me with Brandon at birth. I'll admit it hasn't always been easy. But I can say it was worth it. I will now look forward to that next rebirth, our next life together when I can embrace him again, and say "I love you."